That heading was what I wrote in Facebook.

After all that trouble, inconvenience, hassle and that big, big emotional roller-coaster ride... It's done. And I'm still in disbelief.

Much of that disbelief has actually given way to a host of other emotions like a little bit of excitement and a lot of fear and uncertainty.

I have been accepted to study at La Trobe University in Melbourne, to do the Graduate Diploma in Art Therapy, which I hope makes me eligible to take the Masters in Art Therapy...

I know I'm the kind of person who needs an impulse to pull me away from my comfort zone and do something really different and meaningful. It works sometimes but sometimes it doesn't. I'm just afraid that this was one of those impulses which bore out of the work environment which had become appallingly bitter recently. What if I am in fact, not yet ready?

I'm excited at a moment, thinking of the new experiences awaiting at the other side, yet I can't help but think about the life I would be leaving behind. My mum told me one day that she took a nap, and then awoke and suddenly thought - Pearlyn's not at home now. She doesn't say it but she's probably heartbroken that her sheltered little lamb is going out on her own. That breaks my heart too.

And Miki, my dear dear Miki... I'm afraid she would leave this house completely once she senses that I won't be around for a long time. The least I want is for her to be exposed to danger outside, ending up with a fate like Ginger and Blackie. Yet I know she's a wild cat by heart.

Then there's the logistical nightmare - how do I settle my accomodation? My daily living? Will I make friends there? Will I be able to catch up? Will I fall into depression... again?

So many emotional attachments and concerns holding me back. Yet at the same time, I understand the need for me to do this. I could have done this in Singapore at La Salle, the only school that offers a Masters in the field but is relatively new. However, listening to stories from friends who have lived, studied and worked outside of Singapore has convinced me that if I have the means, why choose to stay and be a frog in the well who depends on the Discovery channel to know about the world beyond my home? I'm not past 30, am unattached, have the financial means, have no other commitments... This is probably the time to venture and see what the world has to offer.

It's just that, fulfiling this is no easy task - both emotionally and logistically. There are still many hurdles to clear.

It's times like this that I feel like I need a hug... Whoever it's from. Someone who can give me a big squeeze and tell me it's gonna be fine.