un pensamiento para ti...
"He aprendido que todo el mundo quiere vivir en la cima de la montaña, sin saber que la verdadera felicidad está en la forma de subir la escarpada. He aprendido que cuando un recién nacido aprieta con su pequeño puño, por vez primera, el dedo de su padre, lo tiene atrapado para siempre. He aprendido que un hombre sólo tiene derecho a mirar a otro hacia abajo, cuando ha de ayudarle a levantarse..."
~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Some things just make you feel like a bad person.
This morning I was at the bus stop waiting for the bus. There were 3 of us in the bus stop, one young man, and one middle-age lady. Then one young lady in casual clothings suddenly appeared crying and panting, asking where she could take the bus to an area in Singapore. I was shocked, and seriously didn't know how to react. She just stood there, hanging on to the railing, crying and panting. Finally, another elderly lady who had arrived asked her what's wrong. Still crying, she said that she felt like she couldn't breath. The elderly lady told her to go sit down, and the lady finally said that she wanted to go home to take her insulin shots. I asked her if she wanted to hail a cab instead so that she could go home faster, she nodded and said yes. So I hailed a cab, but in the end she said she didn't want to. Was late for my appointment so deicded to just take the cab. Ok, actually I was just scared to be there. Uncomfortable, perhaps.
It just keeps bugging me. So cruel of me to just leave like that...
Should have just stayed with her until the bus comes. Should have comforted her instead. Should have maybe even called the ambulance...
Just felt like a bad person today. Guilty as charged...
6 comments:
I agree with YC. Don't be too hard on yourself. There are times when a situation is best left in better or more experienced hands. Helping another should not impose hardship and/or danger on oneself. For example, should you be guilty if you do not lend money to someone who desperately needs it for medical reasons? It is always a hard decision to make. Neither is correct and neither is wrong.
A first aider once told me about the guilt he felt when trying to save someone in a car accident. In some countries, people with first aid licenses are required by law, to help save people who are injured under all circumstances. One time, this first aider was heading home when he was confronted with a women who was in a car crash. He made his way to the car but when he arrived, he saw some drug needles in the car. The women was bleeding but since he did not have gloves with him, he made the decision to not help stop the bleeding. Since she was a drug addict, he was not going to take the chance in case she had AIDS. The most he could do was call the ambulance and help her calm down. The women was still conscious when she was taken to the hospital. But the incident still lurks in his mind of what he would have done if the women was bleeding severely, lost too much blood and died.
I know this example is not comparable to yours. In all types of life-saving training, people are taught to first place your ownself first. There are times when you hear of people digging up their life savings to help others such as some teachers in China who are trying to help educate the poor. And other times when you hear people who have sacrificed their own lives to save others. I put my heart out to these people, but the choice was also theirs.
Oops! Sorry. I think I went just a bit overboard. It's okay, Pearl. You have made your choice. You did not harm anybody. Let your mind rest.
I agree with YC. Don't be too hard on yourself. There are times when a situation is best left in better or more experienced hands. Helping another should not impose hardship and/or danger on oneself. For example, should you be guilty if you do not lend money to someone who desperately needs it for medical reasons? It is always a hard decision to make. Neither is correct and neither is wrong.
A first aider once told me about the guilt he felt when trying to save someone in a car accident. In some countries, people with first aid licenses are required by law, to help save people who are injured under all circumstances. One time, this first aider was heading home when he was confronted with a women who was in a car crash. He made his way to the car but when he arrived, he saw some drug needles in the car. The women was bleeding but since he did not have gloves with him, he made the decision to not help stop the bleeding. Since she was a drug addict, he was not going to take the chance in case she had AIDS. The most he could do was call the ambulance and help her calm down. The women was still conscious when she was taken to the hospital. But the incident still lurks in his mind of what he would have done if the women was bleeding severely, lost too much blood and died.
I know this example is not comparable to yours. In all types of life-saving training, people are taught to first place your ownself first. There are times when you hear of people digging up their life savings to help others such as some teachers in China who are trying to help educate the poor. And other times when you hear people who have sacrificed their own lives to save others. I put my heart out to these people, but the choice was also theirs.
Oops! Sorry. I think I went just a bit overboard. It's okay, Pearl. You have made your choice. You did not harm anybody. Let your mind rest.
Yikes! I didn't mean to double post.
all s been said and done. only can see what lessons we can learn from the experiences so that we can be better equipped to react nxt time...
Pearl, you have done what most would not have done; you have shown her genuine concern and now felt guilt. I would have been a cynic; I would not have believed her and thought she might be setting me up, like trying to rob me. Much too often these have happened in Malaysia, can't blame us for being the not so caring society. Feel no guilt. She didn't die.
You're so right, funn lim. There have been times when I feel suspicious even when a helpless old lady comes up to me and ask for a few dollars, enough for a bus ride home. I always think that the minute I dig up my wallet, some freak might appear to grab it. I will only give if I happen to have some change in my pocket which I can easily take out. I know, it's sad how society has forced us to be the inconsiderate beings we are.
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